Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Letter to the Father

Dear Father,

My thoughts have been silent lately. They have ceased and become distant phone call which rang but no one answered. I was tormented, often with decisions I made on my own accord. The experiences were intense and honestly, I cannot remember why I chose them. Oh yeah... I didn't want to heed Your warnings. I knew that giving myself everything I wanted was not going to make me happy. I just could not patiently wait for You to give them to me. Is it so bad to indulge every so often? Is it really wrong for me to lust after the things I want? Alright I may not know what I truly need but it really feels good?!?!! Why should I have feelings if I am not supposed to stimulate them? For example that time I did indulge, and I got overweight.. Well what about that night I went out with that cute girl and we got drunk, I could have died.. Ok You are right. I don't know what I need for me life. Show me?

I am ready. I just ask that I am not in some weird place with no Tv, well its not that important. Or not somewhere that hates me completely!! It's just that I am... I'm sacred. I am afraid of what may happen. I know you promise me that You will never leave nor forsake me. A lot of people have failed me. It really hurts. I am afraid of being alone You know that. You know my dream is to be a husband and a HERO to my children. Like You are to me. I look up to You. I wish I can understand things like You do, but I know I cannot handle that much responsibility. I thank You that even though I left You and insulted You, You still love me. There was no finger pointing at me, instead arms stretch wide open to receive me when I came home. Thank you for not forgetting me, but forgetting all I have done.

I am glad to be back home.


Thursday, August 13, 2009


There was a time in my life where I mentally planned for everything. Of course it was very taxing on my emotions. I was always under the impression that being angry was a natural part of the cycle of emotions and there was nothing wrong with getting upset about certain things. There were relationships ruined or badly bruised, like with a girlfriend who was scared to tell me how she feels about a circumstance, or even my mother who did not know how to approach me with her concerns. I was very hurtful to the ones closest to me. Before, I would find myself regretfully apologizing to them about my reactions and having to hold my feelings back in order to give them an opportunity to speak. Each time I would say something harsh I could see the squints in their eyes. I didn't know what was wrong with me.

I learned from the bible a couple of things. #1: "A soft word turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger" Proverbs 15:1. #2: "Don't befriend angry people or associate with hot-tempered people, or you will learn to be like them and endanger your soul." Proverbs 22:24-25

What I didn't see at the time was that I was pushing those who I really cared for away from me. It was so subconscious to me at the time because what I didn't know was that I was hiding my true emotions. Recently I heard a teaching from Chip Ingram on ANGER and what I heard was something new.
Anger is a secondary emotion to fear, insecurity, and feelings of injustice...

The problem wasn't that I was angry all the time, the problem was that I was not willing to feel vulnerable to those around me. I would much rather end a friendship being angry at them than to be hurt. I was a victim to the seclusion. I thank God for bringing someone in my life who was bold and loving enough to tell me the truth about this issue and that I needed to seek help from someone who can walk me through this problem. I have finally have victory over this area in my life. I found myself releasing my expectations into the hands of God. I am holding onto the promise that God himself has for us; "Trust in the Lord, and HE will give you the desires of your heart" Psalm 37:4. This is where we can find most of our issues in relationships come from, expectations...

If you expect people to be more than just human, you will be disappointed. If you expect your job to fill the missing areas of your life, you will be disappointed. If you expect your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife to be your everything, you will be disappointed. More importantly, if you expect that things you fill yourself with; be it sex, money, drugs, parties, alcohol, technology, internet, Tv, gossip, trash Tv, or anything that you can hold in your hands... you will be disappointed.

Trust me friends when I say, I have tried to fill my life with my own choices and I had fun. But I was incomplete. Seek truth. Look for YOUR purpose. Do not conform to this world but transform your mind by renewing it (Romans 12:2) with the RIGHT things and you will see life in a WHOLE different way.

Father I pray for those who are reading this. I pray that they leave all expectations behind. That by no means they think it means to not have dreams or goals, but to life a life of purpose. Filled with your awesome plan for their life. Forgive them Father of their sins and give them hope of eternity through Jesus. I thank you for the life you have given me beyond all my expectations and I look forward to all you have planned for me. In Jesus name, Amen.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Walking through life

When we walk, we are finding ourselves moving into the direction that we choose. When we make our choice we are doing what pleases us. There is nothing wrong about finding what makes us happy. It's part of free will. Free will seems like a complicated thing to conceive but truly its not. Our desire is to please every area of our lives, whether its our self-esteem or just the desire to be lazy. We often take the time to choose what is comfortable in our lives just to avoid anything that may seem a little out of the way. The bible is clear in this matter: "Everything is permissible"—but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible"—but not everything is constructive. - 1 Corinthians 10:23

Our journey through life is about discovery, from the first notice of hands and feet as a child to deciding which person to spend our lives with. We make decisions that mold our future based on our needs or wants. Does your wants really have to be meet? Or can you be completely content with what you need? Some people tend to discuss whether or not it is wrong to do certain things. I mean why would we choose something that hurts us? Could it be that we have given ourselves enough evidence that what we want is perfectly ok? If this is the case, how come when we chose to do something we want and it fails we blame it on God?

To think we have the option and we choose things that can hurt us. God loves you so much that He is willing to give it all to you when you are truly ready to honor that relationship.

Are you ready to see what God's plan is truly for your life?

Lord, please give me the strength and courage to say no to my old ways and yes to what your plan is. Thank you for loving us even through our worse times. In Jesus name, Amen.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Why stop believing?

This song is a great example of how we can all get together and sing songs of happiness.

Monday, June 15, 2009

Take a look within

Within the human condition we find ourselves always asking, "What is my purpose?" We are created to be curious and to seek the very nature of our existence. Without this need we would be just mindless wanders in a senseless world. Our need to know more about ourselves makes us want to examine the very nature of the human being. This is a self assessment of who we are.

God in the very same sense is out there waiting for us to do a sober self assessment of who we are. There is no mindless need to follow God without realizing your true need for Him in your life. We hit crossroads which by always choosing to please ourselves leads us back to the same fork. This cycle becomes our everyday routine where we are just passing time by until the next exciting thing happens. We forget to even look inside to what we are truly like or what we truly need since we are more concerned of this hamsters wheel we are running in.

The truth is that we always feel the need to put on a mask of who we are to avoid truly looking inside ourselves. We are all on the same boat. We all want to be loved, no one wants to be hurt, and most importantly none of us would like to be alone. Now I am sure some of you would like to argue that we can be without love, and pain sometimes happens, and lonely... pfffftttt! Who feels that ever?! Yeah I am sure many of us would love to be so sure of ourselves to not need these things but it seems that no matter how many people you surround yourself with, or how much things you own, or what kind of image you have... deep down inside you just want to feel accepted, appreciated, and adored. Our very need is to be part of something.

So what leads us in the other direction or to put on these masks? Well the answer could be a multitude of things, but what it boils down to is sin. All sin is the same as others. For some is lust, not the sexual kind only, but lust of things we desire so much we hurt others or ourselves to attain. Greed is another which sears its grasps into the lives of many. Gluttony, feeding that inner monster to the point we are unsatisfied with ourselves. Sin has a part in all of our lives. In the book of Romans, Paul speak of how all of us are sinners:

"There is no one righteous, not even one;
there is no one who understands, no one who seeks God.
All have turned away, they have together become worthless;
there is no one who does good, not even one." Romans 3:10-12

And it continues to a graphic description of how sin can over take and bring out something so horrendous that the world falls apart. We are all victims of this. I say victims because in our own strength we cannot achieve fulfillment. We cannot "do" enough to get us closer to God. Its His grace and mercy on us that brings us to Him. I I say all this because deep down inside each of us there is something causing discord in our relationship with our family, friends, or even loved ones. We have tried and tried to make it work, even blamed each other to the point of anger and even hatred. I urge you all to look inside yourself and see if there is something about us that keep us at arms length from our desires.

We all can change a little. We can all be better. We can all be filled with joy. Only if we find ourselves looking inside, realizing our need for a savior who loves us for us. It is where we take of our mask and say hey I am imperfect. I am scared and even a little weird at times, but God loves me. I love how He made me to giggle when I am nervous or even how I can smile at the thought of a nap. God made you to be YOU, and that is more than enough for Him to give his son's life for yours. Think about who you are, realize the contents of your heart.

God bless you friends.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Hello world!

So here is the post where I tell you how excited I am about starting a blog. I will try to keep the topics relevant, but honestly, what is relevant. I love photography, music, love, and above all God. I wanted to do a blog site where I can express myself as a photographer but also share all about God and how this life I am living is just awesome!! He has complete transformed most areas of my life. I cannot say all since I still find myself reaching for my past tendencies at the cost of feeling empty like I use to.

Let me explain that 'empty' word I just used. Empty is defined as:

Emp-ty [emp-tee]:
1. Containing nothing; having none of the usual or appropriate contents. (an empty bottle)
2. Without knowledge or sense; frivolous; foolish. (an empty head)
3. Completely spent of emotion. (The experience has left him with an empty heart)
4. Hungry (I'm feeling rather empty- let's have lunch!)

This emptiness inside me I filled with many things I thought would bring happiness (a short lived sense of gladness produced by the circumstance happening in ones life) but as I found out it was never enough. I tried to fill the void with objects that would seem to be awesome but truth be told it faded. Relationships, parties, spending money on the material things of life. You know being young and having fun. I normally came home after all the fun and felt the same I did when I came up with the ideas to change my life.

This is when I found out about a relationship with Jesus. Yeah I said relationship, not religion. I always walked away from the religious talks since I never wanted to be a part of a "cult" or something mindless. I thought that the bowing, sit, stand routine was pointless and I thought to myself that I can find God on my own terms. That I had all the power to change my life as I pleased.... so why was I so unhappy? I mean I really tried to find something to worship but it was tough to love God since I had the totally wrong idea of who He really is. I learned that through God's sacrifice I can find eternal joy.

The sins in my life were meaningless since I always compared myself to others. Of course I wouldn't be that bad if I am looking at the news with murders and rapist!! What I didn't know is that sin is sin, no matter how much you think it is. If we look at Jesus, he was blameless but we accused Him of all our sins. He took all of it and put it on the cross for us. We did not deserve such act of love but it was there for us. When I took a look at my sins against God's standard, I realize my true need for His grace and mercy ("You have heard is said that, 'Do not commit adultery' but I tell you that is anyone looks at a woman lustfully, they have already commited adultery in their heart" Matthew 5:27-28). I was extremely guilty of this. It is through faith in Christ that I am able to get out of that dark hole I was living in and see the true light above me. I thank God everyday for saving me. It was nothing I could do to earn it (For its by grace you have been saved, through faith - and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God, not by works, so that no one can boast. Ephesians 2:8-9), just believe in Him and He paid my penalty.

I am filled with so much joy and excitement for what is to come next. I struggle in my life still for its not a perfect world (yet) but I have a lot of faith that God will be with me through the trials of my journey. Nothing to say about church for we are all the church and together we are to build each other up and grow closer to His glory. I thank you all for reading this and I cannot wait to share images and inspiration I am enjoying everyday!

God bless you friends!