Friday, February 19, 2010

Up, up and away...

For the longest time I was afraid to fly. I hated the feeling of anxiety that would sweep my body to the point that my hands would sweat to drips. It was horrible. My worse fear was to sit in my chair while the plane spiraled itself all the way into the ground. The screaming of the other passengers, the panic that would fill the room, and more importantly all the things I left undone. My fear was more around the fact that I never had the chance to be married or have children. Maybe more like that argument I left behind before take off. To me life always had this feeling of incompleteness. There was always something else to do that I never finished or conversation I never had.

What I feared the most was that I would never tell my feelings to the one I truly loved. It was a miserable way to live. For the majority of my adult life I was living with that fear that I would not accomplish that desire to be content. My problem was not what I wore or the job I had, it was my heart. I filled it with way too many things that obstructed the true needs in my life to come in.

As I type this, I have experienced the most amazing two years of my life. A life filled with the same struggles and some disappointments, but this time there is hope. Hope that was never there before. It comes from my relationship with God through the person of Christ. There is more for me to learn but I want to leave you with this thought. How many times have you felt like you are drowning and not been able to find what you need to stay afloat?

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30


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